Begin with identifying the behavioral atmosphere of your home.

Every home has an atmosphere that could use a little work; no family dynamic is perfect. Start by listing positive social behaviors; examples could be clean bedrooms, offering to clean up after dinner, etc. Then list the social behaviors that could use improvement, examples could include following directions, punctuality, etc.

Hold a family conference.

Family meetings tend to have a bad reputation, because most families only hold them when there is something wrong. In this meeting, begin with what the household is doing well. Be positive and specific. After discussing the positive social behaviors, ask household members to identify behaviors that could use improvement, and provide some of your own observations as needed.

Create your own family matrix together.

As you discuss the social behaviors in your home, your family will begin to identify expectations that are considered valuable. These are what you write down on the family matrix. Be sure to include everyone’s input. Studies show that when children are given an opportunity to help make rules and expectations in the home, they are more likely to keep them

Review weekly or biweekly as needed.

An important step of this matrix is to hold regular meetings to discuss how expectations are being met and if adjustments are needed. Depending on your family dynamic and scheduling, you may need to review this matrix weekly or every other week.

Set rewards when expectations are met.

Rewards help motivate household members to keep the rules and expectations of the home. Every family is different and will need to be creative in what rewards create a motivation.